The Dirty Dishes

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Sometimes a simple question can change your life.

Or at least your dirty dishes.

As a coach, I’m interested in how questions can reframe a problem. When I teach my clients how to coach others in their life — to ask those good questions — I often tell an allegorical story about my family’s dirty dishes.

The dishes were a source of conflict in my family: I like having a clean kitchen and my family didn’t, well, seem to care as much.

It’s not just me: For women in heterosexual relationships, it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore, according to an April 2018 study from the Council of Contemporary Families reported in The Atlantic. Who does the dishes “can have a significant impact on the health and longevity of a relationship.”

This was a perennial problem and one I couldn’t seem to figure out without a lot of reminding and prompting, none of which I wanted to do. I found myself resentful and angry.

And then a friend asked me the lucky question… (Read the rest of the story at The Seattle Times.)