Weaponized empathy

Kathryn Crawford Saxer Career Management

A coaching client told me about a painful interaction with her manager. Her vice president told her: “I am stunned that, at your level, you don’t know the basics of your job.” And my client, a director with years of experience at some of the largest companies in the region, immediately began to doubt herself. “Maybe he’s right,” said my client. “I approach things differently than he does. … I’ve always been good at my job, but it’s hard to …

What’s the worst that can happen?

Kathryn Crawford Saxer Career Transition

A new coaching client lashed out at me. Tears in her eyes, she spat out how much she hates her job, how stuck she feels, how unhappy. She snapped at the irrelevance of some question I had asked. I didn’t mind. I’ve been there. I get it. This client is highly trained in her field. Doctorate level. “I can’t just walk away,” she told me. “Why not?” I asked. She talked about how she is afraid doors would close behind …

What’s your word for 2019?

Kathryn Crawford Saxer Career Management

A coaching client told me about getting angry at work. He was petulant with his manager and almost walked out of the meeting, he said. “If you could have a mulligan on that meeting, how would you handle it differently?” I asked him. He stumbled around, trying to come up with an answer. “I’d manage my body language more carefully,” he suggested. “I’d try to keep my body language open, rather than crossing my arms across my chest.” We agreed …

Negotiating this side of crazy

Kathryn Crawford Saxer Career Management

My new housecleaner looked at me with dismay. And not because of the drifts of cat fur. We had just walked through my house and she offered a reasonable price to clean my bathrooms and floors.  I happily accepted. That’s when she’d looked at me with dismay: I had accepted her first offer. “Having your counterpart accept your first offer almost guarantees that you’ll feel less satisfied than you would have if you and they had negotiated a different outcome …